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Da International Cat ob Mystery Rides Agin

Note frum Azeara:
Since Babeh Bro Catnip haz shard hiz Jurnal, den I shar mah Diarrhe I start long ago ta log mah poo infoz wif Mama. I gib u bes bitz, nawt awayz in order, cuz I iz mysteryus, n def nawt all da poo infoz R supah private bitz cuz I nawt n exhibishunist wike Babeh Brofur.

 

Azeara Diarrhe  no. 2001 – 1

Da International Cat ob Mystery Getz a Call

I gotz call frum Hooman Gramma, inviting me over to her new place in Mexico! I will order me staff to take me to see me Grammaz Haus!

 

Gramma calld today frum Mexico. I wuz not waitin. Reelly I wuz not. She sed dat she miss me n Daddy n Mama (but mostly me) n we shud visit. Sooooooon! I excited, I feel furisky n free. I not tell de oderz yet cuz dey awayz freak but it hard not to tear round da haus n poof me tail; r smak Izbella n da butt wen I runz by…

Nooooo! Bad Kitteh!

I haz 2 kep quiet. I mus play it kewl – wike noffin be happnen. (( til da suitcasez com owt!!)) Dis bery hard so I rev up da purr engine n stick ta Mama wike glu. I get soooo snugly wif Mama dat I eben  gib her leg runnin snuglz wen she walks round, Daddy tew. I so Happy I not eben haz me tummy pain!

I haz count catz ta get ta sleep I so excitd.

POO INFO:  Date -🐾🐾🐾🐾  Color – ok  Texchur – ok  Pain Rating – 0  Notez : I haz no pain cuz I so happy

Azeara Diarrhe  no. 2001 – 2

Da International Cat ob Mystery Getz Packin

I twy mah best nawt ta let on dat I iz excitd ta leev da oderz cuz dey be pissd if dey mew…

 

Today bizzy n stressfur but I still feelz hi wike I on catnip (haznt had nun). Dis not so gud. I haz ta be kewl! Da suitcasez cam out today – dayz early – n da oder catz r freakin jus wike I mew dey wud. Izbella iz suspishush dat I wuz IN ON IT. She ready ta splode!

I go play dum, try wook sad n innosent fur her benfit but I don fink I sellz it. Soz I “hep” Izbella n Catnip “inspect” doz suitcasez. “Wot cud dey be fur?” I sez wit skwinty eyez. Terri doz not hep, he knoz da skor n he depresd . I groom hiz hed cuz wot else I do?

Mama so bizzy she buzzin wike she a bumbal bee. Daddy growly. He sez we fall behind schedule (dis always happenz) n dere may hav been growlin! But turnz owt Mama wuz right. (( She awayz iz. Don tell Daddy!)) Ob curs jus wen da Mama mak her MOST IMPRESIV POINT dat wen Izbella start makin da noiz wif too many Rzzz. She ak wike she got Mama bak or she savin Daddy frum humiliashun, but reelly she summonz da hoomanz jus ta soothe her. She sooo spoilt! OMG, dey fall fur it agin n agin!!!

Ob curs Catnip try mak mor noiz wif bigger Rzzzzz but he still tew tiny n jus maks wittl rzzzzz. I leev fur I fall don laffin. Who me kiddin? Weeee!!!!

I start pikin out me toyz n sundryz n den dropz dem in da suitcasez. Mama sez I gud gurl. Duh. I already knoz dis. I avoid da oderz fur rest ob day.

POO INFO:  Date – 🐾🐾🐾🐾  Color – 🐾🐾🐾  Texchur – 🐾🐾🐾  Pain Rating – 🐾  Notez : 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Azeara Diarrhe  no. 2001 – 3

Da International Cat ob Mystery Meetz da Cat Sitter

Jus wen fingz cudnt get crazyer we getz visit frum da cat sitter. Cat Lady Gee iz nice ole lady who wikez catz so mutch dat she doz it alwayz. She smellz wike hundredz ob catz n lotz o dogz too. Also treez!

We sniffd her all ober startin at da door n follow her ebery step. Eben Terri wakz up ta greet her. Da Cat Lady gibz us all petz n rubz n secret treetz dat Mama don see. (Shhh! Don tell!) Wez happy dat she be da staff subz fur Mama n Daddy. Gud staff iz soooo hard ta find.

Affurwardz we getz catnip treetz az reward fur bein so gud  Catnip, dat ratfink, he stealz me treetz cuz “I do not deserv it,” but I jus stealz hiz treetz right bak! Kittenz!!! Cant wat til I get outta dis haus!! Fank da Cat Gobz we leev tomorrow at sunset!

Nyway I approovd ob da Cat Sitter n I hop dis mak de oderz feel better bout fingz. I fink dey already doz cuz she mak Izbella n Terri so relaxd n eben Catnip listenz wen she tawkz. He neber listenz!

POO INFO:  Date – 🐾🐾🐾🐾  Color – 🐾🐾🐾  Texchur – 🐾🐾🐾  Pain Rating – 🐾  Notez : 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Azeara Diarrhe  no. 2001 – 4

Da International Cat ob Mystery Sez So Long, Not Sorry

Almost tiem! We leev tonight!

I gotz me harness on n I knoz I look hawt wif da blu bringin out me blu eyez, but I only strut a teeny bit. It hard ta leev da oderz, but I so excited! I wan ta brag n stik out me tongue, but I dont.  Izbella be angry n bitey skwatchy so I jus gib her eye luv skwintz. I hed butz da boyz n tell dem ta be gud n not let Izbella bully dem too mutch. Izbella hear dat n gib me da look ob death, but I jus skwint n show me floofy tail.

Den b 4 I knoz it Daddy taks me food-n-water bowlz n littrz down to da car. It tiem ta go!

De oderz try ta look qt one last tiem, but da Hoomanz try not ta see. Mama gibz dem kisses n den scoopz me up in her armz. We leev down da starz n go outside. Izbella n da Boyz callz affur us n dey soundz so furlorn it mak Mama cry. I anser der pleaz wif me sad Rooooooooowwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrz…..!! I do dis til we getz to da car n I no longer hear dem.

Truff?? Ok, I not sorry dat dey stay n I go. Nope. Dat akshully da bes part!!

POO INFO:  Date – 🐾🐾🐾🐾  Color – n/a  Texchur – n/a  Pain Rating – n/a  Notez: I did not go

Azeara Diarrhe  no. 2001 – 5

Da International Cat ob Mystery Ridez Agin

In da car ridin into da sunset, I iz bak in da saddle agin. We don dis leest a dozen tiemz, but it neber getz old.

In da bak wif all mah stuff – me pillow, me mouse, me kibblz, me bwanket, eben me littr – I in me ridin box. Mama sez I gon stay dere, but we both kno I neber do. Only at beginnin az we leev Da Territory. Cuz maaaaby I get wittl nervus n hi pitchd. N maby Mama haz ta reech bak n rub me hed. Mama remind me: u da International Cat ob Mystery n u brave n wize!

Mama so right! I iz bravest kitteh evah! N I goin ta Grammaz haus! Excited meow, me fearz = poof! I riggle n claw pas Mamaz hand n jump out da box. Floofy n free!  Da hoomanz protest, but I ignor dem n get bizzy chekin da bak windowz fur visibility. I haz ta hang tuff n kep me balance fur dis. Not eazy wen da car iz moovin soooo fast, but dis bery important duty! R life cud depend on it! I stay strong n chek da windowz furoughly. Da bak all gud!

I tell Mama dat I wan go upfront meow. Den wez play dat game wer Mama n Daddy sez, NOooo, get bak n da box, but I ignore dem n get me wayz. Cuz I so clevr! I wait til dey not lookin den I slowy ooooz tween da seatz into Mamaz lap fur she knoz it. Den I turnz on da supah purr. Mama cant resist da supah purr soz da game endz n I win!

I chek da front windowz. All gud! Meow I haz bes spot in da car! Mama eben hep kep me steady wen I standz. Fur many bumpz, turnz n radio songz I stand watchin da wurld streek by — endless burstz ob lite n noiz, stranj fingz n wondrus smelz. Fingz I do not kno. Da wurld so big it woosh by wike it goz on furevah n evah, but affur wile it mak me dizzy all wook sam.

I sleepy meow. I curl deep into Mamaz lap hunkrin down fur da long hawl to Da Border. Nex stop Mexico!

POO INFO:  Date – sam day  Color – 🐾🐾🐾  Texchur – 🐾🐾🐾  Pain Rating – 🐾  Notez: I went sumtiem be 4 da border

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Chek bak fur me nex installmint wer I Cross Da Border n haz mutch fun n Shenanaginz in Mexico!

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Save da planet meow.

See da hooman customiser, hooman

 

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