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Catnip-da-Kitten in Jail fur Pawsession Part 2

Catnip’s Jurnal

Jurnal Entry 2 – Nite in da pokey

Peeps, I iz in da big box, I ndz $$ fur bale n green, please! via GIPHY

Still stuck in jail fur partakin o da herb, still tryin to call home. Finally, after trying every conceevable position and spot in ma tiny cell I found I cud get a fone signul by hangin from da ceiling. I mediatly send a message to ma peeps.
I hopz dey leest send me sum $ fur catijuana. It srsly spensiv n here but mucho plentiful n dank af. Oh here comez a gard.

 

Jurnal entry 3 – Catnip in da Slammer fur da weekend

I spent da day looking at ma offline catporn n tryin ta get a signul agin. No luck. via GIPHY

I think da gardz R watchin me, so I hide da fone meow.

 

Jurnal entry 4 – Catbox Sunday without Boxes

I goin stir crazy. It be #CatBoxSunday n dere no boxes n site. I jonesin hard fur da sweet cardboard neath n above n all round. Duuuuuudez! I be dreamin o boxes ober hier!!!

 

Come Back Box! via GIPHY

I so bored I get ta talkin sum wit me jail mates n I start hearin about dis head cat named Blue. He s’posed be scary dude w one i n a big scar.
He run da prison catnip ring. Nyway dat wat dis mangy dude Frank tole me when I ask ’bout how dey get such powerous weed in hier.
He say, “U can fank dat Blue, man. But don, don eber lookie him in da i, cuz he kill ya sure az look at ya wit dat big i!”

 

 

via GIPHY

Leest I gots sum funds frum owtside n can buy da jail weed. Fanks me homies! Got a nice fatty ready ta blaze soon we get lites out. Oh here dey cum da gardz.

 

Jurnal entry 5  – Not a Funday Monday

 

via GIPHY

Jus got werd, ma a-rain-mint been pushed back. Dog cop can’t come til Wed. Bitch! Leest got sum time ta raze $$. SLO goin so far. Enuf fur catnip, newt fur bale. Litter! i needz dat dam signul. C’ on cat. Awww yes! Sendin’…

 

“ I here in da Big Box, but der R no boxes fur me to recycle. Pls send mor money fur bale. Free me, Catnip da Kitten! and I will sendz yoo freed jail-gron catijuana”.

 

And lost da signul. Well, hope it went cuz here com da gardz!

 

Jurnal entry 6  – Catnip gets Lucky or How I met da Man

i iz da man

 

So bored today wit da ignorant cats I locked up wit, I instigated a cat fight…

Then I gots ta talkin w dis gard cat – Pussy Pants. She a big fluffy calico w devil eyes n an executioners mask, but she ok. I tell her ’bout ma box recyclin bizness n she tease me w a burger box. She throw it in and ask me ta smash it like a professional

Actually, I woulda socked her gud den, if I hadn’t herd a rumor dat dis enormous furry Pussy waz da Man. I meanz da Real Man. Not like Blue, who turnz owt was jus da muscle on my side o da bars. My face still hurt frum where he punch me affer I fank him fur da kind bud… Yeah, dat waz da cat fight.

Listen to Frank, dat iz da lesson. But den Frank tole me dat he herd Blue don like bein fanked cuz he knos he NOT da Man. N Blue iz fraid o no onez but Her. Everyone iz. So I bein a smart kitten, put two n two togeffur n gets… I waz neber gud at maffs without QuizBooks, but u nose wat I menz.

Nywayz, long story short, I gots da WiFi passwerd n I gots da best connect a cat culd have in jailz. So I message ma peeps n tell ’em we gotz a plan ta getz me outta here, n maby even get rich!

 

“Ma Peeps, Good news – I gots WiFi. Bad News – I still in jail. Please send funds. I haz plan to escape, but needz ur hep!

 

U send fundz, I send u da best Jail Weed as fank u! More Later.

Den I gets down ta bizness makin ma plans… Sweet!

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