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Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 22

Lionz n Tigerz n Bearz, Oh My !

It wuz dark wen we had r supah Top Secwet meetin n we wuz kickass hawt in R costumz. I went az a lion, Blu wuz a fuzzy wuzzy bear n Puss came az a scawy tiger. I almos jump oot me mane wen Puss appeared at me side. She wuz gloryus in her orange n bwak stwipez n she wuz absolutly terrifyin. Blu n I had ta nail R feets to da gwound nawt to hi tail it oota der. Nex to her we both wook wik kittens pwayin dwess up. It took a few minuts for I cud eben concentwat on her wordz so I missed da beginnin. Sumthin ’bout disciplin n proper awthorati makin da job lik buttah. I willy wemember da “buttah” comment cuz affur dat all I cud fink about wuz lappin up a slippery cold bowl o buttermilk. Fankfully Blu n Puss were on it doe. Dey rapid firin a ping pong discussion on da bes way to keep da twoops on task. Da qwesshon wuz da method o motivatin – Puss wuz pro-Fear n Blu wuz pro-Love. I wuz pro-tweatz,

We wuz prolly gettin noisy den, cuz dat wen da doggy nex door screemed n hiz hi pitched altered voice dat sound lik a mouse. We all stopped r-gu-in n look round fur da mouse. N dere was Dog makin tiny arf arf soundz dat come oot mor like squeekz. We cud nawt hep it but laff. We laffed so hard me tummy stawt hurtin. Den Dog joined in wike a munchkin on helium n we stawt cwyin fur mercy we laff so much.

So fur da sake o security we had ta tell Dog good nite n take da meetin inside.

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 23

Wurldz Collide – Kitteh Armagedden

Soon az we went inside we wuz met by Azeara. Da rukus had woke her up n she wuz frisky n ober excited. Bein dat she very furiendly she had ta gweet both Puss n Blu formally. So dere wuz nose touching n butt sniffin n all ober inspecshanz fur da nex haff hour at weest. Affur dat dey mak da chit chat at da water bowl while I rile up sum kibble snaks. Dey wuz exotic rabbit n venison kibblez cuz o Azeara’s diet limitashanz so Puss n Blu wuz impwessed n call us cwassy. I pwoud n puff oot me chest.

Cors dat wen Isabella march in n saw dez scawy intwuderz steewin R foodz. N she wen full on kitteh attack mode wit da siren Mrrrrrrooow n eberyting. I wuz twuly skared fur me furiendz cuz Isabella iz dangerous wen she riled n I wuz sure dis de end o Puss n Blu. But Puss supriz us all wen she stood up ta Isabella lik a bwick wall. She jus calmly stand still n gav Isabella da hairy eyeball. Da res ob us jus fweeze. Eben Teri, who wuz still splayed oot in hiz cat bed pwactically oblivius, cwaled under hiz bwanket ta hide.

It wuz wike Kitteh Armageddon had cum to R haws n da firewooks wuz fwyin. Wiz. Bang!

Isabella’s siren went up an octave n her claws came oot, itchin ta stwike, but Puss jus stood n stawed. My hart wuz bangin so woud I cud nawt hear wat Puss n Isa said nex but it mussa been a zinger cuz Isabella suddenly growl n a way dat shak ur bonez n I clos me eyez nawt ta see da carnage dat wud follow. But den da hoomanz call frum da bedwoom,

“Isabella! Stop that! Leave the other cats alone!”

Isabella wook annoyed n embarrassed. She yowled dat dere wuz intwuderz but da hoomans jus yell at her agin. She stop mid-siren, hissed, den turned tail and sauntered bak to da bedwoom.

I wook at Azeara n her jaw on floor too. Puss wuzzn’t eben nervous. It wuz paaaaaaaawsuuuuum!

Affur dat we decided ta call it a nite n I invite Puss n Blu ta sleep ober on da catio.

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 24

Thinkin Ootside da Box – We Getz Bizzy

Dis mornin wen I woke up I found Blu n Puss in deep discussion wit Isabella n Terri on how ta bes get thru all da boxes. Seemz dey gettin along now so I feelz bery relaxed n happy. I mew Puss wud mak it all betteh.

Sur enuf, by kibble-time dere iz a Master Plan n we all can get bizzy.

Master Plan: we give at weest haff da boxes away n den wurk in teemz under stwikt guidlinez ta recycle da west.

I go wit Blu n Terri ta deliber boxes to da needy kittehs in da empty lot down da stweet. We takeTerri cuz dis were he came frum an he knoz all da stwayz.

Wen we getz to da empty lot Terri letz oot a blood curdling yodel dat I neber hear befor. He say it da Call o da Wildz. N soon enuf a bunch scwaggly kittehz appear frum da shadowz. Terri introduce us ta hiz ole mates. Dere iz Sylvester, an ole tuxie, Pumkin, a floofy red gurl, and Moo, a cow kittey. Togeber dez thwee rulz da stway colony. I wuz sad tew see so many catz wit dem. Dere mus ha been at weest 15 cats in dat lot, maby mor. Sum were kittenz tew. Terri tawk wit hiz old buddiez fur a bit den we giv dem bout 20 boxes. Wen we lef da thwee were showin da kittenz how ta mak dere boxes comfy. Da older catz were alweady tuked in n snoozin. Dey so happy.

At hom, da oberz say dey give away bout 50 boxes to da ober solo stwayz n r various neighbor catz. Even Dog got a box dat he alweady chewin happily.

Den Blu, Puss n I took a load ober to da underpass fur da colony o stway hoomanz. I wuz worried dat dey wud be mean n scawy, but Puss wuz sure dey wuz jus hoomanz n we be fine. Turnz oot she wuz mossly rite, de stway hoomanz were jus dirty hoomanz wit oot denz. We gabe dem da big boxes, big enuf fur hoomanz ta sleep in, n let dem pet us fur a bit. Sum o dem were so tuched dey cwied. I pwetend I don see. Den a cwazy stway hooman showz up wantin all de boxes, n Blu had ta gib him a smak down. Dere wuz blood n screemin, den he run off n da ober hoomanz cheer. It wate so wez skedaddle on hom.

Puss n Blu stayed anober nite on da catio.

 

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 25

Hi Ho Hi Ho, Its Off ta Wurk We Goz

Today Blu n Puss assigned each ob us a recyclin task. Puss say dat we shud do wat we bes at alwayz. So we each gawt a task dat match R skillz.

Azeara gawt da bes job – Box Sleepin – n she getz rite ta wurk. Puss sez I shud nawt be jelous cuz my job eben betteh. I don kno bout dat, but I get to do Box Prep w Terri. Furst Terri head butt da boxes on each side, n den I walk in circles inside da box until dere is a nice sleeping spot in da middle. Den it goez ta Azeara fur da box sleeping. I still feel cheated oot a nap, but I yung so I no complane.

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In between boxes I watch Puss n Isabella in dere tasks. Isabella doez da scratchin in da furst phaz ob Box Modificatshan. Her cwas R bery sharp so it gud fur her n she willy wike it. Puss iz all da way at de last task – Box Smashin – n she getz into it. She wike ta run at da box, den do a flyin leap on top ta smash it gud. Da box don stand a chanz!

We also haz R ober furiendz wurkin hard. Da Raven famiwy iz bizzy pokin holz in da boxes wile dey kaw kaw kaw at each ober. Dey call dere station da Kaw Box, but really it pawt ob Box Modificatshan. R downstairz cat neighbors Theo n Jasper also haz Modification tasks. Theo iz batting da boxes wit her pawz til dere gud n boxed. Jasper iz biting da boxes til dey dog-eared. Eben Dog iz lik lik likin da boxes (nawt sur why, but no one haz tole him ta stop).

We all wurk hard frum mornin til Kibble time, chow down, n den we getz bak ta wurk agin til dark.

Den we all supah tired n dwop one by one to da gwound n sleep in place til mornin.

?

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 26

Da Twee Haz Fallen, N It Can’t Get Up

Today wuz a bery sad day, n me hart iz heavy n full o tearz.

We all woke earwy dis mornin to howwible soundz ob buzzing n da earff shakin. I thawt maby da wurld wuz ending but actually it wurs. Eben da hoomanz R upset.

Seems da lovely butiful tree dat da Ravenz livez in wuz bein cut down by sum bery ebil hoomanz. It wuz jus behind R haws so it also meenz all R shad iz gone. Da Ravenz wuz loosin dere mindz n it wuz all we cud do ta keep dem frum attakin da twee killerz. Dey wuz murderous. I wuz tew.

I felt specially bad fur Mr. Raven cuz he had ta be so stwong fur Mrs. Raven n Lil Raven who cud nawt stop cwyin. Dis wuz dere ancestral hom dat dey nested in fur generashanz. N if dat wuznt bad enuf, da twee killerz eben took dere nest n all dere mementoz. So nowz da Raven family is homeless.

Dis, ob curs, meant we did not do any wurk today. Instead we all sat round da Ravenz n comfort dem n listen to dere frantic kawz o pain n misery. We all so upset n depwessed dat we barely eat da kibble at Kibble Time.

Da hoomanz twy ta distwact us all wit catnip n toyz but we didn’t eben respond. Eventually dey gabe up n went to dere flashing screenz ta distwact demselves.

We all stayed togeffur n hep da Ravenz mak a temporary nest on da catio. Den it was nite agin an we all twy ta sleep. but no one willy did. We jus lie still n wook at da see ling while da baby Raven cwy in hiz sleep.

It wuz a howwible day.

?

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 27

Life Goez On n On n Kicks U in de Butt

Today wez got bak ta wurk. It wuzn’t eazy but Blu kicked all R buttz wen we gawt up, so we had no choice.

I actually woke to Blu dragin me frum my bed to my box station. He sed I mus be gud zample n get ta wurk so eberyone nawt cwy agin all day. I did wat he sed n so did my Sibs affur he dwag dem to dere stationz tew. By mid-mornin we wuz workin agin lik a fine hooman masheen.

‘Cept fur da Ravenz, dey had ta stawt findin a new twee ta live in n rebuild dere nest. Dey flew off shortly affur we woke. Dey pwomise ta twy find one nearby, but we all mew dat maby dey have to live far away now. We were all still bery sad, but we dove deep into da recyclin an twy nawt ta fink bout it.

At Kibble Time wez still depwessed n nawt hungwy so Blu twy mak us laff by teazin us wit hiz eye patch. He sez wez all sad saks n betteh stwaten up R he show us hiz eye hol n den we catch hiz eye diseez tew! We did nawt beleev him, but den he show hiz eye hol n we all scweem n mak him put hiz patch bak. Den we all laff at how much it scaw us. Blu wuz nawt offended, in fac I fink he enjoy ebery bit ob R fearz.

By da end o da day we actually gettin to da end o R mountain o boxes. I wuz amazed, n so wuz Isabella. She now finkz Puss iz her new bes furiend n dey getz long reel gud.

By nite we finish up n onwy da mew boxes R leff.

Den da Ravenz return wit gud mews – dey found a twee n it nawt tew far. Dey still rebuildin dere nest, but dey haz place ta sleep soon.

I happy wez all spend one mor nite togeffur before eberyone leevs. It wuz wike a kitten pile dat nite n it wuz nice.

 

Dis be me sisfur Azeara, Da International Cat of Mistery. Yoo can see her drivin’ advenchurs on Instagram.

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 28

Da Job iz Don – Let’s Celebrate Wike it 1999

We all don wit catchin up on da box recyclin now so we spent da day celebratin. Da hoomanz gabe us all catnip n we wuz drunk wit nippiness. Eben da Ravenz had sum before dey flew off ta dere twee ta finish dere nest. I don fink it did nuthin tew dem, but it wuz gud ta share.

Da west ob us spent da day in a catnip haze lazin round wike we cats wike ta do. We tole cat ghost stowies n Blu teazed us mor by showin us hiz ebil eye hol. We laff n laff dis time cuz it willy wuzn’t so scawy anymor.

At Kibble Time da hoomanz wuz gud staff n gabe us tuna fur a surpriz. We went cwazy gobblin it all down lik we wuz stawvin. I neber ben so full!

Den Jasper n Thoe, da neighbor cats, went hom n it wuz jus us wit Puss n Blu.

Blu stawt tellin me bout hiz Cosplay Club n how he n Puss been memberz furevah n dey wan me ta join tew. It sound lik fun. Dey get togeffur each monff ta cosplay, n sometimes dere R theme partyz were u can goez az sumthin u hazn’t played befor. Da nex one iz Jungal themed soz I can still use me Lion suit dis time. Dey promis me I wud feel at hom n dey will be dere if I don. I agwee ta gib it a twy.

Den Blu an my Sibs went off to dere respective bedz n R soon snorin.

Me n Puss stay up talkin. We talk bout how da job went so well, n I fank her fur all her hep. Den we talk bout da time in pwison n how she still haz ta play it saf at wurk. Da boss iz suspishus, but he haz no pwoof dat Puss involved – yet. I worry fur her, but she tell me nawt tew cuz she be fine. She bring up R still pendin date, n we toss oot ideaz fur what ta do n where ta go. I wan ta go to a nice gawden pwace were we can chase insectz n haz goldfish dessert. Puss wantz ta go dancin in da moonlite. I nawt sure I gud at dancin, but Puss sez she teech me.

Den we tired n fore I knoz it we cuddlin in nice modified box snug az tew bugz n we dwiff off ta kitteh dweamland. A land where all da boxes R recycled n all da Ravenz haz twees n Puss n I dance wit goldfish.

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So Many Boxes, So Wittle Time

Catnip’s Jurnal 17

So Many Boxes, So Wittle Time – careful what u wish fur.

Affur a few hours ob crisis purring, compulsory grooming n LOTS o catnip I made meseff get bak ta bizness.

I got Isabella n Azeara ta hep wit da sortin. Dey scwambl up da mound n stawrt tossin me down da non-boxes. Dez we don recycl as dey tew small fur us to get inside. So I shove dem aside fur da hoomans ta open n discard.

Da sortin take all da furst day cuz it nawt eazy keepin me Sisfurs on twak w all da distwakshans. But at da end o da day we haz two piles – boxes ta recycle n non-boxes fur da hoomans.

Da mound o boxes iz still up ta da ceilin dow. I fink it take at weest a week ta go fru all dis, maby more. I wuv me boxes, but dis too many.

Kno what? Me box dweamz came twu, but turnz owt it wuz a nightmare!!!

 

Catnip’s Jurnal 18

U Can Teach n Old Cat New Twickz – if u haz all monff.

Da nex day I gaver da siblinz n tell dem we haz lots n lots o work n we gotz ta stay on task. Ob corse da sisfurs stawt gossipin bout da Squirrell Saga wile I talk n I haz to shoosh dem free timez.

I set up stations fur each stage o da process n assign us each to a zone. I do da opening cuz I haz da sharpest clawz, Azeara iz supposed ta inspect da insidez n start modifyin dem, while Isabella iz meant ta do da smashin n stakin. Dis wurk reel gud fur about 30 secondz, den I see da flaw in me planz.

I had opened about 10 boxes, stackin da contents fur da hoomans, wen I notice dere alweady backup in da line. I chek in on Azeara n find she asweep in her third box. Den I see Isabella haz smash her furst box but got bored waitin fur Azeara n wen off ta gossip wit Mr Raven. I wakz Azeara n suggest she add in sum biting n scratchin ob da boxes ta stay awak. I also gib her some more catnip. Den I chase down Isabella owtside n lure her back in wit sum toona.

Tings got back to plan again fur about n hour n den I find Azeara asleep agin, n Isabella haz gone off hunting spiderz. I agin round da gurlz up n twy to stawt agin, but I onwy get anover hour r so n da pil iz not gettin smaller.

Dis plan iz flawed, I sez to meseff. I needz more reliable hep.

?

Catnip Jurnal 19

Uncle Catnip Wantz U – if u haz da skillz.

Da nex mornin I recwroot five new workerz. Sum o dem had dere own teamz dat got wight ta werk. Sum o dem only lasted a few hourz.

My first recwroot wuz one o da Squirrell familiez, but dey jus spent de entire interview kvetchin’ n fightin’ wit each oder. Dey cud nawt decide who shud do wat n I had ta leab dem on da stairz like dat, still chittering.

Den I went round to da Stray Cat Garden n brought back sum cat day werkerz. But dey all in such bad shape dat I ended up jus donatin sum da empty boxes ta dere colony cuz dey peed all ober dem n were more interested in usen dem fur dere homez. U really can’t blame dem do, right?

Affur da homeless kittehs, I twied an army o spiderz dat live in da house. Dey were actually pretty enthusiastic, spinnin dere webz n comin up wit ingeniouz ways ta modify da boxes wit featz of web-gineerin dat shud ob been in sum record book. But dere wuz one very bad problem: Isabella found dem emtirely tew tasty. Affur dey had werked fur haff da day, dey suddenly had dwindled in numberz n da head Spidur came ta me all upset n sez dey quit on account of bein eaten en masse n fearin fur dere lives. I had ta let dem go.

I did find sum gud recwrootz, but I had hard time usin dem right.

Da tiny dog nex door – Wuzzy – jump right in n went thru so many boxes I had ta slow him down before he gib us all hart attaks. He wike sum energizer bunny n a tiny white dog suit wizzin bak n fort. But he start makin a mess soz I send him home n tole him ta cum back affur he haz hiz meds.

My best recruitz were prolly da Raven famly. Papa Raven, Mama Raven n Baby Raven. Besidz dere odd procedurz dey were gud solid werkerz. Dey each took a station n start flyin fru da boxes – opening w dere clawz n beekz, inspectin n modifyin wit custom holz n scwatchez, n den flyin da box way up n droppin it ta smash on da grownd.. Unfortunately dey also wike ta shred da boxes n stealz dem fur dere nest. I tink dat why dey get fru so many.

Anywayz, at end o day I had a mess, n da box mound wuz only slightly smaller. I needz new plan, n I at woss.

 

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Catnip’s Jurnal 20

Zombie Kittehs Unite – I haz nightmare.

Afur a day o recrwootin n trwainin I lay down fur me night time nap. I wuz exhausted n fwustrated wit eberyting. N da mound o boxes wuz menacin me. I took sweep pillz n pass owt.

Den da wierd soundz stawt wike sirenz made o drunk kittenz: Mrwooooooowwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuh! Mrwooooooooowwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuh!! Mrwoooooooooooowwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!!!

Owt da dark dere cumz a band o kittehz wit glowin eyez walkin wike hoomanz. Dey stretch owt dere fore legs n keep makin dat siren soundz az dey cum fur me. Dey droolin wike dey haz rabiez n dey start pawin at me head. One ob dem sez ” Da Branz, Da Branz, dez da branz, n den dey bury me under dem az dey fight wike cwazy fur da furs scoop o me branz.

I screem n twy ta stwuggle free, but dey haz me pinned n sumone iz tryin ta open me skull wike it a box!!!

I wake up wit a headache panting wike cwazy. Da Zombie Kittehz iz gone.

 

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Catnip’s Jurnal 21

When All Else Failz – ask a furiend.

I callz up Puss n tellz her bout me horrible day wit recwootz n da Zombie kittehz. She wisten n nawt judge me fur me failinz.

Den she tellz me she haz plan dat werk fur me boxes. It all about discipline she sez, n hazin a gud leader wit decent motivation fur da werkerz. I dunno wat she menz, but I wike it wen she take charge so I begz her ta hep me.

She warnz we still gawt ta be carefur n meet incognito. Also, we needz Blue ta hep ta kep da werkerz in line, She sez he be owt in a few dayz. Soz we get togeffur in r secwet place (I can not tellz u were) wen he getz owt n planz it rite.

Meantime, she advis we jus tak brak n leave da boxes til she dere.

I nervous afur we talk soz I get stawted on me groomin, cleanin meseff frum headz tew toez twice ober. Den I wook thru me costumez n pick me Liom mane fur r incognito meet up. I wook hawt!

Den I collapse in me bed n goz bak ta sweep – me headache iz alweady gonez. N I dweam ob playin cosplay wit Puss n Blue n a field full o catnip.

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Homecomin’: I iz out of da Pokie!

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Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 12

It 3am, Do u Kno Where Ur Cat Iz ????

Woke at 3am ta me Sisfur Azeara sniffin me all ober. She old (15 years!) so she got stinky breaff, but I so tired I don eben fight her wen she start groomin me face n head. It was kinda nice rally. Don tell anyone I sez dat do – or I claimz Fake Mewz!

When she got down ta me tickl spot (I nawt tellin eben u dat very top secret info!!) it made me shreek n den she stop groomin me. Azeara tell me dey all ben so so worried abut me wen I gone. Den she scold me like a wee week ole kitten bout scarin da hoomanz. Dey wuz parently a wreck. Den she pat me on da head wit her paw n purr me bak ta sleep.

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 13

Dream a Wittle Dream of Puss n Nip

I haz a rally gud dream. Me n Puss wuz sittin in a wittle box inside a huge box n we wuz playin a game balancin boxes. Of course I wuz winnin. It wuz so fun and I wuz sooo happy. She sez “I her Nip,” den Blue crash into us an I wokez up wit a jolt. Den I miss Puss n Blue n da gang.

I text Puss I iz home n I miss her trilling me awake in da mornin. She text back she miss me tew!! Den she text I gotta lay low n not call r text fur a bit til da heat on me escape die down. So I iz a fugitiv n cant leave da home frunt fur at lest a week r talk ta me boo. Poop! I be mad abut dat if she hadn’t promis ta set tings right asap so wez can go owt on our date night!

Still earwy, I go back ta sleep – I so tired I cud sleep a monff.

?♻️?

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 14

Home iz Where da Heart iz – also snuggles n rubs

When I finally left me cat bed round mid sun I wuz greeted by me hooman servants like I wuz sum long lost King come to let dem please me. I did not object.

Dey gave me kisses n squeezed me n nattered on like dey do bout how dey so worried. Dey so sad when I gone n I must neber run oft agin. I twied to cowect dem bout where I wuz, but dey not listen. I nawt mind so much cuz dey give me all ober rubs n I fell into a purr stupor. Den dey arm lifted me to da Big Bed n we all piled in n haz a snuggle nap.

Later afur da nap I got speshal tweats n me favorit kibble. Mama eben gave me a reel sardeen to kill n devour. It wuz yummy. I iz in Heaben…. wait what iz dat anyway? I dunno actually but sum hoomans say it da best place n da Ooniverse n dat iz def were I at.

 

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Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 15

Dere iz a Ting as Tew Much Catnip – Hoo Mew!

Found owt frum da Sisfurs dat dey had no idea where I wuz all dez weeks. Dey neber got dem messages cuz dey furgot howz to charge dere fonez wit me nawt here! Nawt dat I surprised. But what rally piss me off iz dat I tole Petey ta come by n check on dem.

I callz him up n cussed him owt. He sez he furgot. Prolly cuz he use too much dat super catnip frum da pokey. But he reel sorry n he gonna mak it up ta me by bringin by a salmon he snatch frum da fish merkat cart dis mornin durin his scrap roundz. I tellz him he give me a bigger cut o da catnip contraband scheme n den we eben. I iz gonna be rich!

Den I takes nap in da sun spot n da Sisfurs came n book end me like we sum sandwitch. It funny but dey both reeked of catnip so I ask if dey find me stash while I gone. Both laffed n sez what stash like dey innocent. But I checked n me stash iz gone so I mak dem tell twuth by holding onto deyr hooman nip.

Turnz owt eberyone so upset when I gone dat da hoomans raid me stash ta keep da gurls frum freakin. Dey ben hopped up on catnip fur weks. Dey so hung ober eben me contraband catnip jus made dem shrug.

Kno wat dat meanz do, right? Da hole time I gone dere was NO RECYCLIN in me recyclin plant. Not one box! No one did dere jobz!

I try nawt to haz panic attack.

 

?♻️?

Catnip’s Jurnal Entry 16

Perfection iz da Enemy ob Greatness – unless u R a Cat

I practiz seff-calm wit me rootines.

I go ta me Curlin Bed n demand da hoomanz “Tuck” me into me bed and made dem do extra long rubs. Den I jumped owt da bed n demanded it agin n agin. I dint let dem off da hook eben when dey complain. Dis made me happy fur a bit.

Den I went on me roundz owtside. Cheked de mailz on da owtside post: Da garden catz be goin cwazy wile I away – Someone had kittens – Five – Mr. Raven brought hiz new chick ta visit. – A dog (!!) cased da joint n left hiz scent – yuck!

I had ta stop and groom meself all ober ta get da doggy smell off my coat. Didn’t stop til me coat wuz perfect agin.

Den I sniff da stairs one step at a time carefur nawt ta miss a ting, but da Squirrels chittering above kep breakin me focus. I Rrrrrowl at dem, dey scatter. Momentary Joy.

Back in da house I chek n re-mark all me spots: Owter Door (check), Plants 1 – 6 (check), Doormat (check), Entrance (check), Sun Spot (check), Box box (check), Curlin Bed (check), Chair (check), Wittle Bed (check), Big Bed (check), Me Bowl (check), Cat Tree Spot (check).

I enter da Recyclin Plant. Ready or not, here goez…

Werk Area (check). Eberyting looks ok so far. Office door (check). Maybe its nawt so bad. Recyclin Inbox – Oh Gawd it waaaay worse den I thought!!!

Da unopened boxes, dey staked so high I fraid dey fall on me. I get da dizzies n collapz on da floor. I alweady crisis purrin lik cwazy.

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